Preparation is the key to making your life easy, safe, and comfortable. These ten tips will help you manage your pre-scene time to have Fun with less stress and let you know about how to create a bdsm scene with sex toys.
This can take place hours or days beforehand. Whether you use a Dom/sub checklist is up to you, your previous experience, the extent of the play, and how well you know your partner.
It would help if you had to know each other’s limits (soft, hard), wishes for the scene, and other important information (like aftercare preferences, etc.).
2. Save Your Words
Part of your communication also should involve verbal AND non-verbal safe words. These should also be reviewed just before play. And, yes, “stop” is a perfectly acceptable option (unless your scene involves a form of consensual non-consent).
Non-verbal safe phrases include snapping, clapping and dropping things, tapping out, waving, or other body language considered “out of place.”
When you know all the details, find a quiet space, close your eyes, and imagine the scene unfolding in your head. This can include what I could say, orders I could give, and actions I would want to use.
You can make notes and have them reviewed before you meet the person. It’s up to the individual whether you want to follow a “script” step-by-step or if you prefer to let it be a general outline that you let unfold naturally.
4. Charge Stuff
Nothing is more frustrating than having your sex toys run out in the middle of play (or, worst, just before orgasm – although edging and teasing are totally fun too). You can buy vibrators online also.
Be sure to charge your sex toys in advance and monitor their battery life. You should also give your sex toys a 6-month break.
5. All Tools Cleaned
Always clean your toys before AND after each use. No exceptions. This can be washing your sex toys or whipping down impact tools with rubbing alcohol etc.
6. Clean The Space
Dirty play spaces are not sexy. They can also be tripping hazards – even burning hazards if you’re playing with candles or fire. Treat your sacred sex space like a shrine and keep it pristine (whether a bedroom or an actual dungeon doesn’t matter).
7. Layout Items
You don’t want to have to rush back and forth between your cupboards (or other rooms) to get play items. Try to foresee what items you’ll need and lay them out, so they are close at hand. This includes things for aftercare, water, an emergency kit, and safety scissors (or other things to cut your partner out of bondage safely). For more tips, follow Cupidboutique Blogs.
8. Clean Yourself
Subs/bottoms and Doms/Tops need to clean before they arrive or start the session. Brush your teeth, shave (if necessary), wear appropriate clothing, etc. Also, remove any jewelry or accessories and keep them in a safe place.
Have a hot beverage, lie down, read a book, meditate, listen to music, or watch porn. Do whatever you need to that helps get you in the right mindset. Nervousness or stress will sap precious energy that could have been used during play.
10. Seek Safety Out
This is more if you are unfamiliar with the person you’re playing with (or it’s your first time). Notify someone you trust to be nearby (in another room, down the hall, in the hotel lobby) while you play. This also shouldn’t be a secret from the other participant. Tell them you have someone on standby, and they are welcome to do the same.